Why does it seem so impossible to run away from your problems?
I long to abandon mine. I want to be overseas. Just me and my backpack. Alone. This feeling is growing inside of me. It’s bringing me home and mixing me up all at once. I just want to disappear.
I want to go back to Chania and spend time on the oceanside with Apostolis. I want to see Switzerland and Thailand and Norway. Ireland…
I want to genuinely be alone when I feel alone, rather than surrounded by hoards of familiar faces. At least that way when I feel empty it’s explainable.
What is this insatiable hole inside of me?
I do indeed want to run from any problems I have here. Firstly because it just sounds…easy. It sounds easy to just run and be so focused on learning another language and how to get your ass home on the last train or bus that I couldn’t have a second to think about Winnipeg or all that lies within. But secondly because I don’t feel like it’d entirely BE running from problems… just a completely different way of dealing with them. Growth. Growth that can only come from travel.
However, rather than eloquently designing sentences tonight, I’m vomiting thoughtless paragraphs. So I must retire from Tumblr and turn my attention to Gilgamesh or Netflix where I can find something to numb my brain into sedation. Goodnight.